Spring Breakers: please go home. Thanks.

I love it when classes get out of control. I'm not really sure why...I guess because it adds some spice to a normally boring class. Kinda like on Friday when someone was asking my professor - who resembles a woodpecker even more now with the fact that he doesn't brush is hair...so its like his little mane that woodpeckers have - and he proceeded to look at her crazy and walk out the door, well not quite, he just went to close the door...we just all thought he was leaving. Then the uproar that ensued to get him to change the due date of our paper to Wednesday, and a 4 page minimum. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Amen.

After school I went to Karma to spend some time with my lover. I'm completely obsessed with the Tuna Tartare there. OMG I definitely had 2 plates in one day. Yes, it's that serious. Then I had this random cupcake craving that I needed to fulfill so we went to Sweetcakes on Biscayne. Now this is a cupcake bakery...a lame one. First of all the cupcakes are $2.50 each...really, you may ask...for one cupcake? Yes, REALLY damn ridiculous is your answer. I really needed a cupcake in my life, so I bought it, coconut cream flavor. Out of curiousity, my boyfriend asked the owner how much each cupcake costs if you buy them in bulk, sayy for a party. They were still $2.50 each! That so dumb, everybody knows that you always get some kind of discount when you buy in bulk. Not at this money hungry place. So as I was leaving, I was thinking damn, this must be a damn good cupcake then. Haha NOT...dry ass, no filling, crumply, no type of moisture type cupcake. Oh helllll no. Needless to say, my cupcake cravings will never be fulfilled by Sweetcakes EVER AGAIN! I'm good with Misha's (best cupcakes ever).

I hung out at Karma and socialized for a bit...then Carlos came in with his 6-week old pitbull.

Now what happened as soon as I spotted that dog in his arms is quite obvious, I got my ass up and snatched it out of his hands. Oh he KNEW what the business is. You don't bring cute puppies around Amber without them getting confiscated for a bit. Lol. So I played with the little nugget for like an hour while Carlos ran some errands. He was so sleepy, he just kept yawning and grunting in my arms. I cradled him in my arms and he fell asleep right away, occasionally waking up to the frightening sounds of the Miami-Dade busses driving by.

He's sooo freakin cute. Doesn't have a name yet, but that's coming soon. His name was Cutie for the hour that I had him. No, really, that's what I told people. lol.

My boyfriend and I went to Las Vacas Gordas for dinner that night. Deeeelish! Then we took a drive down Washington Ave after dinner and this is the type of unacceptable behavior I witnessed (note: it was only 12:30am):
#1: Drunk people (obvi Spring Breakers) stumbling down the street.
#2: People getting arrested already
#3: Girls with large mid-drifts having the audacity to wear belly shirts
#4: Girls wearing heels that blatantly cannot walk in heels
#5: Spring Breakers thinking they are the shit and that they own South Beach
#6: Stupid people just walking in front of the car because they [think] they can with a "try and hit me" attitude. Bitch I will run you over (except I wasn't driving)!
#7: Girls wearing...God knows what the hell some chicks were wearing
#8: Men with defined bodies walking without a shirt at night, proceeding to lick their lips in an LL Cool J type way thinking they were the hottest thing that hit the planet, and tapping every girl they pass trying to get their number. HAHA none of the girls stopped to talk though because...its night time...give me one good explanation as to why you are not wearing a shirt?
**Please believe that none of the obnoxious behaviors stated above should ever be exercised in your everyday life.

On Saturday morning I woke up and attempted to go to South Beach to lay out and...fall asleep on the beach, of course, to the relaxing sounds of the ocean. That wasn't happening when I realized that 395 was backed up to 95. Then the Venetian Causeway was backed up to Biscayne and onto the American Airlines arena. INSANITY. I popped a U-ey on 395 through Bayfront park...it's perfectly ok in my book to do illegal things to escape traffic. Maybe there was actually an accident on 395, I dunno, but I know Spring Break is a big contribution to the excessive amount of traffic. Spring breakers, please go home so life in Miami can resume and I can actually get to the beach, not to mention finding a parking spot. Grrrr. This Spring Break season is more intense than the years in the past. I think that can be attributed to the economy. In the past, more people would go to the Caribbean for break but a plane ticket to Miami plus accomodations is cheaper in this economy, I guess.

So I decided to go to the pool at my apartment complex instead. As I was driving on NE 2nd Ave, I spotted a guy in one of these

Yes, a motorized wheelchair, driving down the main roadway. Apparently he thought he could function as a vehicle too. There was a sidewalk, he just thought he was a car. The old man pretended to be a car in that he was bent over, doing the max speed limit that his wheelchair allowed, and had a facial expression like he was winning the motorized wheelchairs of America marathon...although there were no followers, sorry pops.
(ok well the one in the photo is like a kamikazee wheelchair poppin wheelies and shit...but you get the picture of the type of chair I'm talking about)

The security guard at my building is the true definition of a 2-dolla rental cop. I was at the pool and the lady next to me was drinking a Smirnoff. He came over and was like "Ummm, you can't uhh have that uhhh glass bottle at the ummm pool. Sorry ma'am." Can you ummm grow some balls...how bout that one?!

My roomate and I went to Bella Luna for dinner. Amazingggg food. I love that place and all other restaurants they own. Well, its a nice, upscale place...but then we turned around and spotted a guy wearing this

Yup, a bib...but not just a bib, one with a big ass crab on it. Is that really necessary? Why not be slick with it and use your cloth napkin as a bib if you are sloppy? It's kinda unacceptable to wear bibs at fine restaurants. I don't think he realized that he looked like a complete idiot. I truly believe that his wife should have informed him.

That's all folks...stay tuned for more random, outrageous behavior I witness in my everyday life!